All warm and fuzzy inside

It's nice when you haven't talked to one of your best friends in literally months and you just finally get the chance to play catch up, it feels like nothing's changed. I miss the closeness my 2 best friends and I used to have when we were younger...3 way calls, prank calls, sleepovers, hanging out at church, school, stupid fights over boys... I miss having girlfriends!

Raiza and I haven't talked to each other since the weekend of the 95th...it was nice we got to catch up tonight...we really only talk to each other after MONTHS of not talking! I'm glad nothing's changed =]

Right from wrong?

Sometimes, I worry about the well being of some people, people who are in the Church and people who aren't in the church, mostly brethren who are in the church though. I understand it's only natural to have questions about our teachings and to question some things that you don't understand, in the end, once you get the RIGHT answer, the answer that comes from a Minister or the bible, if you don't have that mutual agreement inside of you, inside of your conscience, does that at all bother you? Does it make you question your own faith?

At times I wonder some people continue to going to worship services when all they do is question the lessons, the Administration, the Ministers, or when they just complain about "Why can't we do this...or that...or go clubbing, or drink...or live with our boyfriends or girlfriends?" ...Everything has a reason, every rule that was made has a reason behind it, you know? The Administration just doesn't make up these rules for us to follow, they have their reasons. I'm usually not one to judge a person's faith, who am I, you know? It just bothers me that there are some brethren like this, who go on everyday criticizing the things we have learned in the Worship Services and the things we've been learning since CWS...

And for you younger people out there, I get it...you want your chance to "taste" the world, you want to experience things...but isn't it just good enough to know that out of all the other people in this world, we'll be saved? I don't want to come off all 'Holy-Moly' and stuff...But I've learned my lessons, and have seen what consequences and the punishments that other people have gone though, and I would never want to go through that...

Be wise, it's a different time. That's all.

HURRY UP ALREADY!

I'm soooo over 2009 right now. 2010 needs to come already. These next few months better go by hellaaaa quick, because this year needs to be done with and out of my memory bank (minus a few good tid-bits). I want to start over already, have a new and fresh outlook for the rest of the year. I thought THIS YEAR was gonna be MY YEAR and my time to shine...Not even close. I'm so disappointed with people, 'so called' friends, some events, myself...UGH.

Can it just be December already? I'm SoCal bound...I'm goin' HOME <3

HA HA HA

Please excuse the last post. I was being a baby... I'm good now! THANKS ;)

It's THAT kind of day...

I feel like you're playing me for a damn fool. Is this really worth it? Am I gonna have any benefit from this in the end? Do you even think about how I felt? Do you even think about me anymore?

I don't know why I'm feeling so frustrated today...I should be content with this 'relationship' right? Well our uhhhh HALF 'relationship'. I wish it was July again...I wish it was summer again...We had a good summer, didn't we? How do two people who talked evvvvery single day go down to talking to only ONCE a week? I erno...I shouldn't be complaining though, right? He said he was trying...Why oh why do you do this to me? Why do you make me feel like this? I miss you, UGH =]

I AM CONTENT, just a bit frustrated and some things need to fall into place a bit, but I am content.

That was my vent for the day. THE END.

....11:18 pm
Went to lunch at BJ's today, where we had our first 'date'...damn, I almost cried when I walked inside. UGH, I'm such a girl. I hate this. I'm hellaaaaaaa missing you right now. I miss my girlfriends. I miss my childhood, I miss LA, I miss Eagle Rock, I miss SoCal. I don't need anymore friends. Why do I feel like crying right now? I'm listening to that song when we got lost together in San Jose...=/ I think I've developed trust issues. You hurt me, and I thought those wounds have mended, but damn...here they are...open and hellaaaa hurting. FACK. I can't wait to go back home to Eagle Rock in December. It's muuuch needed.

Other Side by Melissa Polinar

life can be a winding road
you take a step bringing you closer
closer to what you don't
know exactly where it goes
what in the world is going on
so crazy
yet so amazing

how life can be so bittersweet
how the rains falls down
and the sun shines so brightly from heaven
from heaven

Chorus:
if we let them
day and night will pass right by
you gotta tell them slow down
so take the moment
to look all around you
see the sky
and what is on the other (side)

side by side in harmony
the voice of faith
tells us that answers and questions
are one in the same
different possibilities
who in the world we need to be
so crazy
yet so amazing

how love can be the one to say
when the tears fall down
and the smile shines so brightly
from heaven, from heaven
(chorus)

(bridge)
what's on the other side
is forever, and ever, and ever
here, time is so precious
so remember, remember, remember
(chorus)

ONE.

It's been ONE MONTH since our so called 'break' and I must say as of right now, remembering all the words that were said, the lonely nights, the puffy eyes, the sick to my stomach feeling, the hoping that you'd call or finally go online. I can remember almost every single detail that happened on this day a month ago. I can't say that I'm over you, because I'm not. I can't say I don't miss you, because I hellaaaaa do. Slowly but surely my heart has mended, and surely God answers prayers and mends things that were broken. I'm glad we're slowly getting back how summer used to be, because it's all I really want, no expectations, no issues, no worries, just ME & YOU.

Remember that I don't...actually WE don't break promises.
I still have high hopes for us, no matter what, I'm patiently waiting; 'Nuff said.

"You comfort me in every prayer"

Thank You for always listening to my prayers, most especially when I need you the MOST. Thank you for comforting my heart when I feel like the pains and heart aches will never go away. Thank you for giving me second chances. Thank you for keeping safe me wherever I go. Even the small and simple things I ask for, Thank you for providing it all to me. I know I'm so undeserving at times, but Thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful life; a blessed life, a sure life, a life in the holy Ministry, and a life filled with wonderful, loving, and caring people. <3


Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

Forever engraved in my heart.

It really hit me more today, than it did yesterday...but this memory will forever be engraved in my heart. I posted this as my Facebook status but, it was just a short summary due to character capacity. So here it is in semi-full detail...

APRIL 2001: Going back home to the Philippines for the FIRST time in 14 years. I was really afraid to go back, I've heard stories about the Philippines both good and bad, I was excited, scared, and sad all at the same time, I didn't want to miss out on 2 weeks worth of upcoming events, 2 weeks worth of school and I was really going to miss my friends. With all those emotions dwindling, it was still a great honor and privilege to be one of chosen Ministerial families as the FIRST batch of Ministerial families to go back for our Dad's conference and Balikbayan Day.

I think we left our apartment in Eagle Rock around for LAX around 4 or 5 o'clock in the afternoon, The Rivera's, Caparas', Lola Mommy, Brinas', Ramos', The Long Beach Uncle's were there, and a few other brethren who I can't remember were also there to help us with all of our luggage and send us off. When we got to the Airport, I realized that I forgot one of my carry-on's, Kuya Alan and Lola Mommy went to go back to the apartment to pick it up, thank goodness it was still early when I realized this.

Once we landed in Manila, a rush of emotions took over me, excitement, fear, nervousness, etc. The heat was different, the people were different, it was a whole new experience. We were then greeted and escorted by a few of Tatay Erdy's own body guards. We stayed at one of the pastoral houses in Quezon City was it? and reunited with the other Minister's families that we haven't seen in years; Cayabyab's, Serreno's, Salanga's, and San Gabriel's. We all did the whole tourist thing, go around the shopping malls, ride the jeepney's, taxi's, and buses, visit family we haven't seen since we've left the Philippines, hang out together basically almost every other day, but the most anticipated days were being able to worship at the Templo, the Tour of New Era, the Tour of the Central office, meeting all of the other minster's of Central, Museum trip, and most of all meeting Tatay Erdy once again after so many years.

The day we all finally got to reunite with Tatay Erdy was one of the MOST MEMORABLE days of my life. This part of our trip I remember like it was yesterday... For my sister and brother, and a few of the younger Minster's kids, this was their first time meeting Tatay Erdy. I met him once when I was maybe a year old, and this was before we moved to Daddy's first assignment in America; Milwaukee, WI. This was also the day we had a tour of the Central Office, Ate Thea, Me, and Ate Ivah even got interviewed by the radio station. Sitting in the waiting area seemed so long, I could feel everyone's excitement and anxiousness. I remember my parents telling us what to say when we meet Tatay Erdy, "Tell him how old you are.", "Don't forget to say Opo." and so on and so forth. Finally, we were all called in by family, I was so nervous, when it was our turn, I just remember seeing his gentle and kind face. When he greeted me he still remembered my name after all those years, he said to me, smiling "Ang dalaga mo na, Arianne... haha Naiintindihan mo tagalog?" And I said, "Opo, kaunti, po..." and he just laughed and he shook my hand.

After that, all of the families went to the cafeteria to have lunch together, and all of us kids were super excited and pretty much speechless. We took pictures of our hands that we shook Tatay Erdy's hand with, and were just pretty much in awe.

Thank you for one of the BEST memories, You'll forever be in my heart Tatay <3