Monday, October 19, 2009

No relevance

It was a very good weekend, I must say! District volleyball was awesome, didn't do as well as we hoped we would, but at least we beat 2 locales of the 3 in our conference, but apparently you have to win all 3 to move up to quarterfinals. Regardless, the woman's team was amazing with a few minor setbacks and drama the past week we were great! Can't wait 'til next year! It was nice to see all the loves and family that I haven't seen since the 95th, I've really missed them, like reaaally missed them. LJay is back home this month too, oh and so is Ian. It's always nice seeing the BEM's when they're on semester break and come 'home', wish they could stay longer, but that's the life! Ohhh the ministry <3

October has been good to me so far, cut off a few people in my life who are no longer needed or I guess should say were never needed to begin with; they were taking up too much space. HA! And this month has given me a few people whom which I feel will forever have a place in my heart. REAL TALK.

Monday, October 5, 2009

"You're insecurities are for my mere entertainment"

I'm usually not the girl who's insecure or even gets insecure...but for some reason, when I saw her (not even knowing if it's really his ex), but this girl, she's gorgeous! Well, I think so at least. I know shouldn't even be thinking like this, nor should I even make myself feel like this but once I asked what her name was, Damn! It hit me, it hit me hard. He could possibly be back with her, she could still be in love with him, he could be trying to get her back...I mean what would I know, right? I've become those people I make fun of...the one's who I say, "Your insecurities are for my mere entertainment" WOW. I don't like this at all. This is why I DON'T like lurking into people's past relationships, this is why I don't ask about ex's...Was this some kind of sign? Me just raaaaandomly stumbling upon her picture, and me asking Mhyrees who that girl was?





I just want to forget about June 13th-August 4th...for now at least.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

All warm and fuzzy inside

It's nice when you haven't talked to one of your best friends in literally months and you just finally get the chance to play catch up, it feels like nothing's changed. I miss the closeness my 2 best friends and I used to have when we were younger...3 way calls, prank calls, sleepovers, hanging out at church, school, stupid fights over boys... I miss having girlfriends!

Raiza and I haven't talked to each other since the weekend of the 95th...it was nice we got to catch up tonight...we really only talk to each other after MONTHS of not talking! I'm glad nothing's changed =]


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Right from wrong?

Sometimes, I worry about the well being of some people, people who are in the Church and people who aren't in the church, mostly brethren who are in the church though. I understand it's only natural to have questions about our teachings and to question some things that you don't understand, in the end, once you get the RIGHT answer, the answer that comes from a Minister or the bible, if you don't have that mutual agreement inside of you, inside of your conscience, does that at all bother you? Does it make you question your own faith?

At times I wonder some people continue to going to worship services when all they do is question the lessons, the Administration, the Ministers, or when they just complain about "Why can't we do this...or that...or go clubbing, or drink...or live with our boyfriends or girlfriends?" ...Everything has a reason, every rule that was made has a reason behind it, you know? The Administration just doesn't make up these rules for us to follow, they have their reasons. I'm usually not one to judge a person's faith, who am I, you know? It just bothers me that there are some brethren like this, who go on everyday criticizing the things we have learned in the Worship Services and the things we've been learning since CWS...

And for you younger people out there, I get it...you want your chance to "taste" the world, you want to experience things...but isn't it just good enough to know that out of all the other people in this world, we'll be saved? I don't want to come off all 'Holy-Moly' and stuff...But I've learned my lessons, and have seen what consequences and the punishments that other people have gone though, and I would never want to go through that...

Be wise, it's a different time. That's all.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

HURRY UP ALREADY!

I'm soooo over 2009 right now. 2010 needs to come already. These next few months better go by hellaaaa quick, because this year needs to be done with and out of my memory bank (minus a few good tid-bits). I want to start over already, have a new and fresh outlook for the rest of the year. I thought THIS YEAR was gonna be MY YEAR and my time to shine...Not even close. I'm so disappointed with people, 'so called' friends, some events, myself...UGH.

Can it just be December already? I'm SoCal bound...I'm goin' HOME <3

Saturday, September 12, 2009

HA HA HA

Please excuse the last post. I was being a baby... I'm good now! THANKS ;)

Friday, September 11, 2009

It's THAT kind of day...

I feel like you're playing me for a damn fool. Is this really worth it? Am I gonna have any benefit from this in the end? Do you even think about how I felt? Do you even think about me anymore?

I don't know why I'm feeling so frustrated today...I should be content with this 'relationship' right? Well our uhhhh HALF 'relationship'. I wish it was July again...I wish it was summer again...We had a good summer, didn't we? How do two people who talked evvvvery single day go down to talking to only ONCE a week? I erno...I shouldn't be complaining though, right? He said he was trying...Why oh why do you do this to me? Why do you make me feel like this? I miss you, UGH =]

I AM CONTENT, just a bit frustrated and some things need to fall into place a bit, but I am content.

That was my vent for the day. THE END.

....11:18 pm
Went to lunch at BJ's today, where we had our first 'date'...damn, I almost cried when I walked inside. UGH, I'm such a girl. I hate this. I'm hellaaaaaaa missing you right now. I miss my girlfriends. I miss my childhood, I miss LA, I miss Eagle Rock, I miss SoCal. I don't need anymore friends. Why do I feel like crying right now? I'm listening to that song when we got lost together in San Jose...=/ I think I've developed trust issues. You hurt me, and I thought those wounds have mended, but damn...here they are...open and hellaaaa hurting. FACK. I can't wait to go back home to Eagle Rock in December. It's muuuch needed.