All warm and fuzzy inside

It's nice when you haven't talked to one of your best friends in literally months and you just finally get the chance to play catch up, it feels like nothing's changed. I miss the closeness my 2 best friends and I used to have when we were younger...3 way calls, prank calls, sleepovers, hanging out at church, school, stupid fights over boys... I miss having girlfriends!

Raiza and I haven't talked to each other since the weekend of the 95th...it was nice we got to catch up tonight...we really only talk to each other after MONTHS of not talking! I'm glad nothing's changed =]

Right from wrong?

Sometimes, I worry about the well being of some people, people who are in the Church and people who aren't in the church, mostly brethren who are in the church though. I understand it's only natural to have questions about our teachings and to question some things that you don't understand, in the end, once you get the RIGHT answer, the answer that comes from a Minister or the bible, if you don't have that mutual agreement inside of you, inside of your conscience, does that at all bother you? Does it make you question your own faith?

At times I wonder some people continue to going to worship services when all they do is question the lessons, the Administration, the Ministers, or when they just complain about "Why can't we do this...or that...or go clubbing, or drink...or live with our boyfriends or girlfriends?" ...Everything has a reason, every rule that was made has a reason behind it, you know? The Administration just doesn't make up these rules for us to follow, they have their reasons. I'm usually not one to judge a person's faith, who am I, you know? It just bothers me that there are some brethren like this, who go on everyday criticizing the things we have learned in the Worship Services and the things we've been learning since CWS...

And for you younger people out there, I get it...you want your chance to "taste" the world, you want to experience things...but isn't it just good enough to know that out of all the other people in this world, we'll be saved? I don't want to come off all 'Holy-Moly' and stuff...But I've learned my lessons, and have seen what consequences and the punishments that other people have gone though, and I would never want to go through that...

Be wise, it's a different time. That's all.

HURRY UP ALREADY!

I'm soooo over 2009 right now. 2010 needs to come already. These next few months better go by hellaaaa quick, because this year needs to be done with and out of my memory bank (minus a few good tid-bits). I want to start over already, have a new and fresh outlook for the rest of the year. I thought THIS YEAR was gonna be MY YEAR and my time to shine...Not even close. I'm so disappointed with people, 'so called' friends, some events, myself...UGH.

Can it just be December already? I'm SoCal bound...I'm goin' HOME <3

HA HA HA

Please excuse the last post. I was being a baby... I'm good now! THANKS ;)

It's THAT kind of day...

I feel like you're playing me for a damn fool. Is this really worth it? Am I gonna have any benefit from this in the end? Do you even think about how I felt? Do you even think about me anymore?

I don't know why I'm feeling so frustrated today...I should be content with this 'relationship' right? Well our uhhhh HALF 'relationship'. I wish it was July again...I wish it was summer again...We had a good summer, didn't we? How do two people who talked evvvvery single day go down to talking to only ONCE a week? I erno...I shouldn't be complaining though, right? He said he was trying...Why oh why do you do this to me? Why do you make me feel like this? I miss you, UGH =]

I AM CONTENT, just a bit frustrated and some things need to fall into place a bit, but I am content.

That was my vent for the day. THE END.

....11:18 pm
Went to lunch at BJ's today, where we had our first 'date'...damn, I almost cried when I walked inside. UGH, I'm such a girl. I hate this. I'm hellaaaaaaa missing you right now. I miss my girlfriends. I miss my childhood, I miss LA, I miss Eagle Rock, I miss SoCal. I don't need anymore friends. Why do I feel like crying right now? I'm listening to that song when we got lost together in San Jose...=/ I think I've developed trust issues. You hurt me, and I thought those wounds have mended, but damn...here they are...open and hellaaaa hurting. FACK. I can't wait to go back home to Eagle Rock in December. It's muuuch needed.

Other Side by Melissa Polinar

life can be a winding road
you take a step bringing you closer
closer to what you don't
know exactly where it goes
what in the world is going on
so crazy
yet so amazing

how life can be so bittersweet
how the rains falls down
and the sun shines so brightly from heaven
from heaven

Chorus:
if we let them
day and night will pass right by
you gotta tell them slow down
so take the moment
to look all around you
see the sky
and what is on the other (side)

side by side in harmony
the voice of faith
tells us that answers and questions
are one in the same
different possibilities
who in the world we need to be
so crazy
yet so amazing

how love can be the one to say
when the tears fall down
and the smile shines so brightly
from heaven, from heaven
(chorus)

(bridge)
what's on the other side
is forever, and ever, and ever
here, time is so precious
so remember, remember, remember
(chorus)

ONE.

It's been ONE MONTH since our so called 'break' and I must say as of right now, remembering all the words that were said, the lonely nights, the puffy eyes, the sick to my stomach feeling, the hoping that you'd call or finally go online. I can remember almost every single detail that happened on this day a month ago. I can't say that I'm over you, because I'm not. I can't say I don't miss you, because I hellaaaaa do. Slowly but surely my heart has mended, and surely God answers prayers and mends things that were broken. I'm glad we're slowly getting back how summer used to be, because it's all I really want, no expectations, no issues, no worries, just ME & YOU.

Remember that I don't...actually WE don't break promises.
I still have high hopes for us, no matter what, I'm patiently waiting; 'Nuff said.