Things I want you to know...

Instructions:
1) List things that you want to say to people, but never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Never discuss it again.


1. I'm not okay, okay?!

2. I've NEVER cried over someone as much as I have for you.

3. I know I should move on, but there's something inside of me that just keeps holding onto you. I'm stuck.

4. August has been the suckiest month this year.

5. My friends think your a jerk for putting me through this; waiting for you, telling me how you feel and then telling me you're not ready, but there's no reason
to be angry with you and makes it hurt even more. I think you're amazing.

6. I feel like you hellaaa played me.

7. I'm hurting inside, literally.

8. You've made me an emotional wreck.

9. Things are gonna get better right?

10. There's so many things I want to say to you, but you won't let me.

11. I hope you feel as down as I do right now, maybe even worse. Mean, right?

12. When I was with you, I couldn't breathe, the good kind though.

13. Me being a girl, my period, being stressed out, and crying is not a good mix.

14. My Facebook status' are about you, I hope you know that.

15. You're hellaaa childish, I hate that we can't even talk.

16. I miss the nightly convo's and 5:30 wake up calls =/

17. Beyonce's 'Broken Hearted Girl' is my song, I've become the broken hearted girl.

18. I'm sorry for being selfish, but is it bad that I just want you all to myself?

19. I'm blessed to have met you.

20. I haven't felt cute at all this month, thanks. My eyes are always puffy, and

21. I'm always thinking about you.

22. You broke your promise =/

23. I'm waiting for you. Please don't make me wait too long.

Goodbye Summer...

This is the last week of so-called "freedom". School starts again on Monday and in a way I'm somewhat excited, now I have thaangs to do, "people" to see, and things to keep me preoccupied and not think about my current situation, annnd my late nights will consist of homework and readings...Oh joy.

Let's re-cap this summer shall we? Okay! I must admit, that this summer wasn't all that. A few highlights I must say were my summer "fling" and of course, the 95th Anniversary weekend. Both in which totally made Summer '09 a hellaaa memorable one. The summer fling I have to admit was amazing, I can finally say that I had one, and thank you Michael for being a part of it. Although I'm still hurting inside, I know that you're still worth the wait, and whatever happens in the future, I only hope for good things, whether or not it's with you or without you. The 95th was an amazing experience, and I'm glad I was able to witness it with my family, close friends and what was it? 17,000+ brethren. The lesson was amazing along with the GEMNET presentations, and the broadcasting of the 95th Anniversary Celebration in the Philippines and special message from Tatay Erdy. God's presence was among us at the HP Pavilion, and it was a great feeling to have felt it. It was definitely a weekend I wish I could relive over and over again... I can't wait for the 100th!

Until next summer =]

Patience.

"Some things are worth the wait..."

So now, the waiting game begins...(Well, since Wednesday)
Please don't take too long with your issues, I'm here, I'm willing to wait...


Patience is truly a virtue.

I don't like this feeling...

I felt it coming, I just didn't realize that it would come so soon...I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved, I knew I shouldn't have fallen so quickly for you, but I DID, and now look what's happened, I'm stuck in a little rut, and I'm waiting around for someone who I don't know will even come back to me. I put my heart out there, and now there's no taking anything back..UGH, this makes everything so much more complicated and complex. Me & You, we're a good thing, I know it, I just hope you realize it before it's too late. But for now, I'm swallowing my pride, and letting you deal with whatever you need to deal with, and bury whatever you need to bury up that's been holding you back. I'll be here, I guess, waiting around for you...

Heartache

There's a type of pain and heartache I feel inside I wish I could just easily release and mention to the world, but I can't. No matter how hard I try to even let my fingers type it out, I find myself continuously pressing the backspace button and see it being deleted. It's not that I can't admit that I have this pain inside, but I'm afraid of what people may think of me; rejection. I hate it, I know I've experienced this already a handful of times, but it's not the best feeling in the world, and although I may come off rough a tough, I DO HAVE FEELINGS. I hear the things people say, it doesn't hurt me as much as it used to, but I'm still human.

CUTTING YOU OFF

So basically I've decided to only use my blogger as a place to ramble and vent, and I guess today is just one of those days...

I find myself growing very tired of all this high school drama, especially when 1) I'm not in high school anymore 2) YOU DON'T KNOW ME 3) YOU DON'T KNOW what I'm capable of doing to you. 4)You're not in high school anymore, honaaay, grow up. I'm slowly cutting people out of my life, you know...the one's I reaaally can do without. Although everyone has made some kind of impact in my life good or bad, some people's services are no longer needed. HA! Please don't start with your Myspace and Facebook drama, please don't go on telling your Mommy's and Daddy's on, but if you do, I can deal, I'm an adult, I can hang...I hate how I've considered you family, and you're ignorance and antics have just gotten you no where with me, I've heard the things you have to say, and I see the fear you have in me, and I see you trying to bring me down, but it'll never work, I'm MOST DEFINITELY better than YOU and your FAMILY, sounds so harsh out loud, but it's true...I'M BETTER THAN YOU. But THAAANKS for making me stronger person.

RAMBLING

I feel like I really only seem to blog when things are really bothering me, or when I'm stressed, or 'depressed'...I guess those all really fall into the same category of things that bother me.

So, I don't really know how to word my thoughts right now, So I'll just ramble...

I don't really understand why people just can't be straight up with you, especially those people who say they are nothing but blunt and honest. For compassion? Maybe...
But I don't know, to me, that contradicts the whole being bluntly honest type ordeal. Not to say that I'm a cold hearted jerk (which I'm pretty sure I'm not), but I guess I'm different than others where I can choose my words carefully and know how to let people down easier than what other people can do. And I guess I'm feeling a bit hurt right now, because I DO have friends that are like this, and not just a regular friend, but like people I call CLOSE FRIENDS, even A BEST FRIEND, and they just can't be honest with me, you know? I feel like it's a slap in my face though, I feel like I should re-evaluate the people I keep in my life once again. It sucks you know?